I think my mind is emotionally turning me crazy!!!?

If it is ocd take heart. A lot of advances have been made in understanding this condition. Find a therapist with your parents help. This can be overcome. Don't guess find out. There is nothing to be ashamed of at all. Sometimes this condition can be caused by outside elements that have nothing to do with whether or not you are deficient in some way. Do not take it personally. Think of it this way: imagine I am perfectly healthy but some chemical in the polluted atmosphere doesn't agree with my brain. Let's say it throws a curve ball into how a specific area of my brain functions and things go off kilter. Is this my fault? Should I look at myself as lessor than others because of an impersonal chemical reaction? It is not your fault or an indication that you are faulty. Get those thoughts straight so even if you have them you know they aren't truth. If you had a broken leg you ould still take care of yourself wouldn't you? This is no different. Stop talking about ending your life simply because a part of you needs to come back online. If you get a flat tire in your car or bike do you throw out the bike? Do you send it to the crusher because it needs to be fixed? Who knows it might just be an imbalance caused by hormonal changes that are normal for someone your age. Take is easy and figure out how you can see someone to talk to so you can find out what is going on and what course of action would be best for you going forward. When you get things sorted out you will have much more appreciation for Life and you will grow in unexpected ways. Don't p that stuff up. You have a chance to be better than ever. What are you waiting for?